Monday, January 19, 2009

Power Ratings "Best Of"

O gajo que escreve estes Power Rankings dos surfistas do WCT diz muito porcaria a maior parte das vezes e num comportamento tipicamente americano gosta de gozar exagerada e injustamente com os surfistas brasileiros do Tour. Mas a verdade é que por vezes também diz muitas verdades (e com um sentido de humor apurado) que provavelmente muito poucos na imprensa de surf têm tomates para dizer... Aqui vai um Best Of dos comentários mais cómicos no balanço que ele fez das performances individuais do ano passado:

"At 7th in the world and rising, Adriano is clearly the most impressive Brazilian since Gisele burst onto the surf world's radar."

"Dayyan's US media presence is about equal to that of the 3rd hottest NSSA kid at your local beach."

"There's no reason to think Taylor's going to magically learn how to surf heats in his 16th season."

"The one upside for the dwindling Brazos on tour: their scarcity makes them more compelling. If seagulls were suddenly as rare as bald eagles, we'd regard them as beautiful birds."

"Jay Thompson board-jived through some admirable, solid pits at Backdoor. But getting beat by a high school kid (Jon Jon) ads a bit of insult to the homicide scene, like Elvis dying on the toilet."

"Given his Tin Man act in the small stuff, I'm not confident that Ross will make it back in 2010. But who knows? We may all be driving electric cars by 2010."

"Pancho Sullivan wins a special award this season: Best Impersonation of the Dow Jones, for his thrilling 32 place drop in the world ratings."

"Things I won't miss about '07/'08: 1) Britney off her meds. 2) Palin-mania. 3) "Twilight" fans. 4) Crocs. 5) Steep Gas Prices. 6) Rodrigo Dornelles being one of the Top 45 surfers on earth."

"Guys on tour are always saying, "I can't believe Basnett keeps getting 33rds!" You don't hear that about Rodrigo."

"Perhaps in 2023 Neco's surfing will be back in style? (It sounds far-fetched, but who would've guessed we'd be riding finless wood planks in 2008?)"

"It's a world turned upside down. Rednecks are so pissed about impending foreclosures that they're willing to elect a president named Barack Hussein Obama. And at Pipe, Jihad finally made it out of a backside barrel - standby for a peace accord between Israel and the Palestinians."

"In retrospect, Slater's ninth title will appear both predictable and transitional. In stark contrast, Basnett's perfect season - 21 straight heats without a victory - will prove both unprecedented and unequalled. Breathe deep, boys and girls. It's the musty stench of History in the Making."

Podem ler tudo aqui.

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